


I just had sex

by Biqueenie, FullmetalKarneval13, nerdlife4eva



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Crack, Domestic Fluff, Explicit Language, Explicit Sexual Content, Fluff and Crack, Fluff and Smut, Inspired by Music, M/M, Sexual Humor, Song Lyrics, Yuri!!! on Ice Shit Bang, Yuri!!! on Ice Shit Bang 2017
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-01
Updated: 2017-09-01
Packaged: 2018-12-22 09:12:28
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,057
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11964315
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Biqueenie/pseuds/Biqueenie, https://archiveofourown.org/users/FullmetalKarneval13/pseuds/FullmetalKarneval13, https://archiveofourown.org/users/nerdlife4eva/pseuds/nerdlife4eva
Summary: It is the first morning that Yuuri and Victor are waking up in St. Petersburg together, after an epic night of sex celebrating their reunion. When Yuuri leaves for his first practice with Lilia, Victor celebrates his giddiness in a very ridiculous manner.A fic inspired byI Just Had Sex by The Lonely IslandThe adorable art to go along with this madness was created by the talented and lovelyBiQueenGardenand can be found here:Iconic Scene, Keep Singing Vic!FullMetalKarneval13is the co-author and instigator of this craziness





	I just had sex

**Author's Note:**

> Other songs included:
> 
>  
> 
> [Feels like the First Time](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Tl-kOcnn1U)  
> [Let's Get It On](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x6QZn9xiuOE)  
> [Sexual Healing](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rjlSiASsUIs)
> 
>  
> 
> THIS IS PURE CRACK. Please laugh and don't take this seriously, I beg you.

His alarm sounded with the demand of a new day, dragging Yuuri from his peaceful slumber and into hesitant consciousness as he stretched over the king-sized bed. The bed, which was currently being shared by a very naked, incredibly beautiful silver haired man.

Every part of Yuuri’s face hurt as he grinned down at the bare shoulders, broad and powerful over the stack of white pillows. A little gleaming spot was still in place on Victor’s left shoulder blade, the remnants of where Yuuri’s cheek had vacated its place against Victor’s naked skin. A little drool was nothing compared to the showers of cum they had covered each other in the night before, and Yuuri chuckled to himself about his mild final contribution in the bodily fluids department.

It was a pity that Yuuri was being called out of the bed so early after such a wonderful night, but it was a necessity as there was no way he was going to explain his absence to Lilia. _Sorry, can’t come to practice, got railed by Victor last night and my ass is aching._ Yuuri couldn’t see how that text message would go over well, so he hauled himself from the bed, searching out clothes that would sufficiently cover the amount of marks covering his skin.  

They had sex. It wasn’t as simple as that, because they had gone from zero to sixty on the physical intimacy highway and in one night they had logged in every sex act that they could reasonably pull off, without receiving complaints from their neighbors, at least. The freedom from hotel rooms and the need to be quiet and discreet at the onsen had left them ready to ravish each other properly.

Yuuri had been in St. Petersburg for a little over twenty-four hours and had already thoroughly enjoyed breaking in his new home. It hadn’t solely been the bed that had suffered at the hands of their insatiable need for each other, and Yuuri found himself blushing at the vast number of surfaces which would need scrubbing. Days off before Victor had consisted of sleeping until noon and hours dissolving into a computer screen. Days off with Victor were sometimes relaxing, but more often than not, they were more physically demanding than practice days.

Rolling onto his side, Victor was met with the sight of the glorious ass of his fiancé. Were there enough words in the any of the languages he knew to worship Yuuri’s ass? Victor figured the answer was a definite no, especially spying the bruises that were shaped like his mouth speckling the perfectly round cheeks. His entire body was worn with their night of sexual frolics, but his dick was already showing interest again. Letting Yuuri leave sounded like a terrible idea, and he used all of his effort to produce the most pathetic whine of Yuuri’s name that he could conjure.

Pulling socks over his feet, Yuuri reacted to the whine that was masquerading as his name. Victor laid over the bed, naked and pouting, looking like a siren beckoning him to orgasm. For a moment, Yuuri reconsidered his earlier thought of cancelling practice, but he shook his head to erase the idea. Considering how terrifying Minako claimed Lilia to be, Yuuri had no desire to piss off his new dance instructor on day one and never live to see night two in St. Petersburg. A night two which would come with a very well-rested Victor. The thought had Yuuri grinning wickedly as he crossed the room and grazed a hand in between Victor’s legs. A sense of pride and blinding arousal when he felt Victor’s rising interest and Yuuri had to remove his hand to preserve his own resistance. Dropping a quick kiss to Victor’s pouting lips, Yuuri reassured his adorable fiancé that he would hurry home as soon as practice was over.  

 _Home._ The place where they lived together and the place where nights like the one before were not going to be a rarity. Mentally patting himself on the back over his own good fortune, Yuuri dragged himself from the apartment, letting the ache in his asshole remind him of Victor with every step of his run towards the potential torture chamber known as Lilia’s studio.

* * *

 

Scoring two days off in a row had taken some fierce convincing and a very expensive meal, both being served directly to Yakov Feltsman. He hadn’t been physically in the same space as Yuuri for two weeks, and Victor had a sneaking suspicion that Yakov hoped two days off together would quench their overwhelming thirst for each other. Little did his naïve coach know, Victor planned to remain completely dehydrated over his thirst for Yuuri for the rest of his life.

Victor smiled into his pillow attempting to take Yuuri’s final suggestion about resting. Every part of him felt alive and giddy, and he was too awake and excited to go back to sleep. He laid nestled in the sheets that smelled like their evening acrobatics and recalled every miraculous detail. Victor hummed in delight, remembering the feeling of having Yuuri for the first time in weeks, repeatedly, until Yuuri had flipped the script and taken Victor instead. There was no longer a shy and delicate approach to love making, it was take and be taken, in equally loving and competitive measures.  

The moment they had finally reconnected had been overwhelming. When Victor had finally slid into Yuuri, hearing his fiancé cry out in pleasure symphonies composed of Victor’s name, Victor had to pause for a second to savor the new joys of living together. St. Petersburg had always been Victor’s home, but sex with Yuuri in St. Petersburg was giving Victor a whole new appreciation for his birth place.

The tingling elation over the previous night made Victor excitedly leap from the bed, slipping on a pair of boxers with exuberance despite the ache of his muscles. A slight disappointment registered when he realized that not training meant not getting to torture Yurio or Yakov with his new line of oversized polka-dots in the beautiful shape of Yuuri’s talented mouth. Oh well, he decided cheerfully, he would have to make sure Yuuri retraced every bite so they would be fresh tomorrow. The thought had him whistling as he flung open the top drawer to his own dresser.

Dragging on a pair of socks decorated with poodles, Victor skipped over to the Bluetooth stereo to plug in his phone. Sitting still was going to be impossible, and he might as well have music as he began the process of collecting all of their used supplies from the night before. It would take at least one song to gather all the used wrappers and lube bottles, and Victor gloated internally as he unlocked his phone.

Flipping through his song lists, he found a song that sounded appropriately capable of displaying his elevated mood. Uncaring about the playlist it was on, Victor tapped the screen and dropped the phone next to the stereo. When the song started, he sang along off key as he danced through the bedroom retrieving the evidence of their amazing night and tossing it piece by piece into the trashcan.

Feeling something soft against his legs, Victor looked down to watch Makkachin slink from the room. The fluffy brown head turned back only once, eyes narrowed as if trying to convey how painful Victor’s singing really was, before Makkachin escaped to the safety of the living room. Victor was a skater, not a singer, but in the midst of his sex-driven high, he didn’t give a damn about the mouse-being-tortured tone of his voice. Wiggling his hips to the tune of the guitar, he sashayed across the room, taking a deep breath to prepare for the next round of lyrics.

"I can climb any mountain, sail across the stormy seas, if that’s what takes me baby, to show how much you mean to me." Victor pirouetted across the room, jumping up on the bed as the chorus rang from his vibrating throat. The neighbors would definitely be able to hear him, and Victor laughed mid-word knowing it wouldn’t be the loudest sounds they had heard in the last twenty-four hours. Performing on the bed like a legendary rock star, every part of his lower half was screaming from his idiotic behavior, but Victor didn’t care about that either. He had finally climbed and conquered the Yuuri mountain in every way imaginable, and he was going to dance straight through every happy thought that came along with it.

"It feels like the first time! It feels like the very first time. Oh!!!" Dramatically flinging himself off of the bed with his air guitar in hand, Victor jiggled over to the phone, swiping through his song list until another one stuck out at him. It was meant to be a joke, but no one was there to judge him and he still had a ridiculous amount of giddy energy to burn off. Turning it on, he faced the mirror grinning at his own sex-satiated, Yuuri-Katsuki-obsessed reflection.

"I just had sex.... And it felt so good... I just put my penis inside Yuuri!” He was adlibbing lyrics and gyrating his hips in a humping motion, letting his hair flop around wildly. “I just had sex... And I'll never go back again... I hope he always lets me be his lover!!!" Victor sang and rapped along with the ridiculous song, laughing momentarily when he realized that Makkachin had appeared in the doorway, giving him a look of pure judgment before retreating again from Victor’s horrible squawking. He continued to sing, now into his own fist, while circling his hips to do an ill-advised Shakira impression, Victor twirled around to finish the song with a flourish.

Spinning on his heel, throwing himself down on his knees, Victor sang out the last notes, finally letting his laughter take over as his eyes opened… and immediately connected with the absolutely bewildered and amused brown eyes of his fiancé.

* * *

 

Yuuri had made it halfway to the dance studio before receiving a text from Lilia that she was rescheduling him for the afternoon. There was no explanation as to why, and Yuuri didn’t care enough to ask for one. An extra four hours in bed with Victor sounded like exactly where he wanted to be, so he pivoted mid-run and went careening back toward his lover.

 _Lover_ , Yuuri thought to himself, chuckling in puffed breaths about the literal nature of the title. His ass certainly felt loved, as did his thighs, his mouth and both of his hands. Bruises covered a remarkable amount of his body and Yuuri found himself giddy over his love bites for a second time that morning.

The shift in the songs through his headphones had him laughing harder as the shared playlist between him and Victor on Spotify suddenly blared Let’s Get It On into his ears. Yuuri took the song lyrics as a suggestion and quickened his pace back toward their apartment.

The sounds that met him at the door had him peering curiously at Makkachin as he crossed through the living room. With a disapproving boof, Makka covered her face with her paws making Yuuri chuckle. He had laughed a remarkable amount that morning, and could only attribute the insanely happy mood to the man currently trying to shatter their windows with noise.

Melody and lyrics vibrated the walls of the apartment along with the alarming sounds of a dying but singing goose. Yuuri was convinced without a doubt that the noise ordinance violation would be coming. Dropping his backpack on the floor, he paused at the doorway of their now-shared bedroom.

Victor was gyrating a mere handful of inches away from the full-length mirror in boxer shorts that were plastered with poodles and matching socks. The spin of his hips was delectable, but the lyrics to the song were outrageous and paired with Victor’s outfit, Yuuri needed every ounce of his control not to burst out laughing. Subtly lifting his phone, he hit the record button.

In the back of his mind, Yuuri thought that Victor should be eternally grateful that he had no idea how to live cast on any version of social media. Victor’s plump ass bouncing around while off-key Russian accented lyrics rang through the room was internet gold. Even making pennies per hit on YouTube, Yuuri knew this video was the type of high-quality entertainment that made YouTubers famous. Not that he needed more fame or money, so Yuuri happily recorded the fiasco for his own future enjoyment.

He was completely fine, enjoying his fiancé’s impending embarrassment, right up until Victor dropped onto the floor on his knees, the last notes of the song falling from his heavenly lips at the exact right height to place those lips somewhere else. When the blue eyes finally opened, Yuuri was in the middle of battling himself. His choices, to tease Victor about singing or to tease Victor with his tongue and a few fingers, were rolling in his mind as he gave a small wave in Victor’s direction.

Victor was on his knees, his Yuuri standing by the door frame with his phone pointing towards Victor. Victor could feel the redness seep into his cheeks and ears, thinking vaguely that it was finally his turn to run and sit himself in the bathroom until the embarrassment faded.

"Hey love, why are you home?" Victor said, his voice high and squeaky as he pulled himself from the floor, looking anywhere but Yuuri. Adding insult to injury were the ringing tunes of Sexual Healing, blaring at the same volume as the last song. Briefly Victor wondered why all of these songs even existed on his phone in the first place. The vague memory of the last time him and Yuuri were drunk together floated into his consciousness thought and he internally facepalmed. Their playlist. This chaos was on their joke playlist and Victor was dancing to the most ridiculous song on it, as if he was an actual rock star.

He wasn’t a rock star though. He was a thoroughly embarrassed, underwear clad man, staring straight into the back of Yuuri’s phone. A phone that had _definitely_ captured at least some part of his sex-dazed antics. _Well, fucking shit_ , Victor thought to himself, attempting to lean on the mirror and appear casual.

"Lilia changed my practice to this afternoon. What are you doing, sweetheart?" Yuuri's smile was tinted with the hint of mischievous purpose, sending nervous shivers down Victor’s spine. He watched intently as Yuuri locked his phone to slide it into the low dipping pocket of his trainers.  

Victor slowly pushed away from the mirror. "Um... Nothing... I'm just going to…" He ran.

Slamming the door shut, Victor slid to the bathroom floor, the weight of his embarrassment and Yuuri’s laughter dragging him down to the depths of humiliation hell. There was being extra, a quality he was known for and embraced, but then there was humping-the-air-while-singing levels of extra that were beyond even Victor’s wheelhouse.

 _Evidently not,_ his brain screamed at him, making Victor groan and bang his head on his knees. He could have owned it. If he had thought quicker, he could have taken it in stride, slinking toward Yuuri and pulling his fiancé into the dance as if it was all some deranged form of seduction. Instead he had faltered, leaving himself spread over the floor like the absolute goofball he was. His legendary smoothness always disappeared like drunk-Victor’s clothes whenever Yuuri was around. And now there was video evidence of it.

He needed a plan. The only way out of this mess was to get Yuuri to give up the phone. The phone was in Yuuri’s pocket, the video being the last thing saved. If he could distract Yuuri long enough, he could snag the phone and delete the video. Shoving up from the floor, Victor squared his shoulders in the mirror and narrowed his eyes at his reflection. “You,” he pointed at his own reflected chest, “are the great Victor Nikiforov, collector of medals and virginities alike, lover of men, and the only one who can pull off this hair. Get your quad-flipping ass out there and get that phone.” Properly bolstered by his own pep talk, Victor nodded at his reflection one more time and opened the bathroom door.

Despite the number of questionable spots on the bed, Yuuri felt comfortably relaxed. Stretching across the comforter with his arms crossed over his head, Yuuri let all the breath exhale from his lungs as he snuggled deeper into the pillows. With his eyes closed, he heard the distinct sound of the bathroom being opened and let the smirk take over his face. The ridiculous soundtrack, formed after too many drinks in a Thai bar, was still filling the room with sexually themed music. Not opening his eyes, Yuuri shifted his legs on the bed and asked, “everything alright, Vitya?”

There was a hint of devilish teasing in Yuuri’s voice as Victor moved to the foot of the bed and surveyed Yuuri’s body. A sliver of skin was exposed across Yuuri’s stomach where his shirt had ridden up and Victor could easily see the line of bruises vanishing beneath the waistband of Yuuri’s pants. The loose trainers did nothing to hide the growing tent in Yuuri’s pants, nor did they camouflage the existence of Yuuri’s phone stowed in the bottom of his right pocket. Thinking quickly, Victor climbed on the bed, slowly crawling up Yuuri’s body. “You look so beautiful this morning, love,” using his left hand, Victor pushed Yuuri’s shirt up, exposing an area of skin to kiss, “won’t you let me take your picture?” Tracing his fingers around the waistband of Yuuri’s pants.

Leaning forward, Yuuri curled a finger around the elastic at the front of Victor’s boxers pulling Victor forward. “If you want a picture, I guess you can have one. Where is your phone, Vitya?” Yuuri sat up, wrapping a hand around the back of Victor’s and placed grazing kisses to Victor’s collarbones.

“I.. uh… lost it...” Victor lied, stuttering as his eyes closed. Yuuri’s tongue was pressing in time with the perfect form of Yuuri’s lips, and his mind was starting to get fuzzy.

“Funny,” Yuuri said, pulling back and twisting toward the night stand. “This looks remarkably like your lost phone.” A coy smile flicked over Yuuri’s face as he tapped Victor’s phone currently safely secured to its charger. He knew exactly what Victor was up to, but he couldn’t resist playing the game. Yuuri had discovered the joys of playful sex with Victor and he was going to go along with everything ridiculous argument to keep the atmosphere going.

Sitting back on his heels, Victor pouted briefly. Yuuri was teasing him and it was both frustrating and wildly attractive. Every side of Yuuri was beautiful, but this teasingly playful side made Victor’s body vibrate with anticipation. Another idea spring to his mind, and Victor laced his fingers through the waistband of Yuuri’s trainers and boxers. Stepping from the bed, Victor ripped Yuuri’s pants from him in a flourish, throwing the whole bundle over his shoulder and against the wall.

A loud crack rang through the room as Yuuri’s phone, still trapped in his pants pocket, smacked against the wall. Feigning sheepishness, Victor shrugged in Yuuri’s direction. “Oops! I’m sorry! I may have accidentally broken your phone because I am so excited to blow you.” Dropping back on the bed on his knees, Victor fluttered his eyelashes at Yuuri as he leaned to take Yuuri slowly in his mouth.

Breathe catching, Yuuri let out another chuckle as he ran a lazy hand through Victor’s hair. “Love, we are sharing a…uhhh…rink,” Yuuri struggled with his words as Victor upped his efforts in the current round of feliatio, “with Yuri I-throw-phones-at-random Plisetsky.” Groaning, Yuuri tried to remember where he was going with his thought, swallowing hard he forced the words out as his hips began to squirm. “I bought the highest rated life proof case last week. Only a truck running over it could break my phone now.”

Pausing, Victor lifted himself off of Yuuri staring at the huffing chest and pinked cheeks laid in front of him. The look of frustration, of Yuuri standing with his toes hanging off of the orgasm cliff but not falling over, made Victor feel triumphant. Pushing from the bed, he took a step backwards, sweeping his foot across the floor to make contact with Yuuri’s pants. Ducking down, he continued to keep his eyes on Yuuri as he lifted the entire pile from the floor. “A truck you say?” Victor glanced down, juggling the pile of clothes, heavy with the weight of the phone, “I can find a truck.” Taking off at a sprint, Victor cackled wildly as he heard Yuuri yell.

Dick banging against his thighs, Yuuri chased down Victor in the middle of the living room, tackling his beloved to the ground. Raising an eyebrow, Yuuri wiggled his fingers at Victor before attacking Victor’s still naked torso with tickles. Makkachin immediately sprung from her place jumping on top of the hysterical pile, making Yuuri yelp when she licked his bare butt. The three of them rolled across the floor, a pile of bare limbs and fluffy fur as laughter filled all of the space in their apartment.

Finally coming to rest, against the wall underneath tall windows, Yuuri laid over Victor’s chest smiling down at his ridiculous partner. “I love you,” Yuuri spoke, running light fingers over Victor’s forehead, “you know I won’t show that video to anyone.” He kissed the tip of Victor’s nose and smiled harder when Victor’s cheeks flushed.

“It’s fine,” Victor narrowed his eyes at Yuuri, “if you do, I still have the banquet photos…” he started to laugh as Yuuri began to tickle him again. “Oh and that video from the ice rink…” he lost his ability to speak as Yuuri drove him to the heights of hysteria while pinching Victor’s sides. Wheezing, Victor attempted to escape when Yuuri dropped his weight onto Victor’s chest, pinning him to the ground. The mood shifted as Yuuri begin to kiss Victor’s neck.

“I just had sex… and it felt sooo good…”

As the song filled the apartment, Yuuri pulled back to look at Victor. Making eye contact, they both lost it, separating to lay back down on the carpet next to each other. “Why…” Yuuri began, curling his arms over his stomach. Marathon sex plus laughter was one hell of an ab work out, and Yuuri could feel the sting as his muscles contracted again. “Why is this song on here twice?”

Victor rolled, laughing tears stinging his eyes as he climbed over Yuuri. “When I did it with my penis, a Yuuri let me do it, it literally just happened…” Victor sang the words, jokingly humping Yuuri’s leg in beat. He watched Yuuri laugh underneath him and couldn’t keep his joking up any longer. Collapsing down on top of his adorable wheezing fiancé, Victor connected their lips together carrying the humor straight into their intimacy.

* * *

 

“So…” Yuuri rolled over to place an arm over Victor’s chest, leaning his chin against Victor’s sternum. “Do you always give yourself pep talks?” He giggled when Victor’s jaw fell open. “I mean, I know you are the collector of medals and virginities alike, but are you also the gold medalist in self-motivation?” Yuuri squealed when Victor flipped him over, pinning him to the bed to assault his sides with merciless tickles.

“Yuuri Katsuki…” Victor only slightly let up his tickling attack to pin Yuuri’s hands above his head. “I think you have had enough teasing me for today.” Licking a strip from Yuuri’s collar bone to his ear, Victor nipped hard against Yuuri’s earlobe, “but, I am just getting started.”

* * *

 

Hours later, Yuuri had missed his first practice with Lilia, their sheets were stained beyond saving, and they couldn’t walk even if their lives depended on it. And, tucked deep in the depths of Yuuri’s phone, in a hidden file that Phichit had taught him how to make one late night in college, was a video that Yuuri was never, ever going to delete.


End file.
